Just Mortified

So… I joined a gym over a year ago for the first time in my life.  My visits are too few and far between, but that’s beside the point of this post.  The point of this post is that I actually went a few weeks ago.  I was strangely excited about the treadmill workout I found on the internet and on a complete whim I decided to watch Orange is the New Black while I walked.  I had heard a few mentions of it recently and thought “how curious that orange is taking over black as the go with everything, basic color.”  Go ahead, laugh.  I mean, it’s really quite hysterical in retrospect.  (It is worth mentioning that I had not seen the below image at that time.)



So, there I am, walking along on the treadmill, feeling super good about  being there, as I get Netflix geared up on the first episode.  I’m pretty perplexed by the opening scene but I press forward.  Twenty minutes later, I’ve completely forgotten about what I *thought* this show was all about.  I’m walking.  And watching.  And really quite into it, one eye raised no doubt.  And so it goes, for the next thirty five minutes or so.  And then I get to the end of the episode (if you live in the same lala land that I apparently do, envision girl on girl stuff in a crazy graphic jail shower scene).  I look around for the first time in the hour and I see that every treadmill beside me and behind me and in front of me is now taken.  Ladies are passing me every thirty seconds on their way in and out of the locker room that is RIGHT NEXT TO MY TREADMILL.  And then it dawns on me…

OOOOOOOMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGG.  I am in an all girls gym, happily walking along, minding my own business aaaaaaand watching two girls do things I can’t write about on this little g-rated blog right there in public for everyone and their sister to see.

Mortified.  Just mortified.

And when I relayed the story to Honey he said “Really, Amanda, WHAT did you think a show about a women’s prison would be like?”  But that’s just it – I legit thought the show was about orange being the new color of the season.

At least now I have a plum reason to never return to the gym.
xoxo